The average husband hears about the first five words of anything his wife says before she begins to sound like the schoolteacher in those old Charlie Brown cartoons. Shortly thereafter, he regresses into a fidgety, hand-wringing, jingle-humming mess. My guess is that most men would actually like to be able to listen, but it’s just not something that comes naturally. The male mind is transfixed by football, belly shirts, and pizza. How can anything a wife has to say possibly compete with that?

Salvation for the terminally distracted lies in a very simple technique used by teachers, therapists, and mediators called “active listening.” If you use these techniques while she’s telling you about what’s-her-name’s boyfriend and how he won’t commit, and how she can’t find pants that fit, and how you still need to clean up the garage, and wuh whaah wuh whah whahhhhhh…. Sorry, spaced out there for a second. Just try active listening. It works.

There are three main components to active listening: body language, asking questions, and summarizing.

Body Language

Ever wonder why your wife gets upset when you sit there “listening” to her with your arms and legs crossed, facing away from her and staring at the wall? It’s because your body is screaming out that you’d rather be doing absolutely anything other than sitting there listening to her. Use your body to show her that you’re paying attention:

- Stop whatever you’re doing: Put down your beer, the sports section, whatever, and actually lean slightly toward her.
- Make eye contact: Try to maintain it for about 80 percent of the time.
- Open up: Uncross your legs and arms, and sit in a relaxed posture.
- Acknowledge: Nod your head in agreement, or furrow your brow with empathy.
- Give a few “uh-huh”s to let her know you’re still with her. Be careful not to start nodding like a bobble head, or she’ll know you’ve drifted off again, starring in that beer commercial in your mind.

Ask Questions

Asking questions is the easiest way to show that you’re listening, and that you actually care about what she’s saying. Ask open-ended questions to elicit more information. For example, ask “How did you feel about that?” or “Could you give me an example of what you mean?” Avoid questions that will put her on the defensive, such as “What the hell were you thinking?”

Summarize
This is a more advanced technique that requires some practice to master. It involves collecting the main points and expressing them back to her. You’ll start a summary with “So, if I understand what you’re saying …” or “Am I right that you’re point is . . .”The risk here is that you’ll talk over her, which is almost as bad as not listening in the first place. Be patient, let her finish what she has to say, and wait for a chance to summarize.

Remember, you don’t have to really care about anything she’s saying, but if you open up, acknowledge, ask questions, and summarize, she’ll think you do. And that’s all that really matters. Finally, keep in mind that all of this will help you with that other related skill she’d like to see some improvement on: “How to Remember What the Hell She Said Just Yesterday.”

While hanging out or in a party, out of nowhere, you notice that someone is looking at you or standing close to you. In fact, you realize that that she is noticing you quiet often. The two of you might also strike a conversation and start to share a moment or laugh. While you might have not noticed, you already are a flirting expert.

Dating without flirting is no fun. It keeps you excited, involved and active all the time you flirt with someone. While flirting you are given your full 100% attention to someone and it does not only involve talking. Touching, smiling, winking and playing are some the other attributes of it. While to some flirting comes naturally, others need to gain the knowledge and start flirting. Either ways, it’s an easy and enjoyable thing to do during one’s life.

Broadly there are two aspects involved in flirting – Communication and Body language.

Communication:

• Make sure you smile or laugh in your conversations. It sends positive vibrations to your partner.
• Whisper gently in the ears of your partner often. This is an indication that you like him or her.
• Ask few personal questions especially on their relationship status – single, separated etc.

Body Language:

• Maintain an eye contact. This helps in building rapport and passes on the signal to your partner that you are interested in them.
• Wink at times especially after someone amongst both of you pass a comment.
• Lean inward to show that you are very much interested in the guy or gal you are dating.
• Stroking or toying your hair is another recommended thing to do.

Make sure that especially on your maiden date; the two of you strike the same notes. Keep conversing with each other and don’t contend. Therefore avoid debatable topics and talk more about each other’s interests, likings, hobbies and what are they doing on the coming weekend? If you are meeting up in a restaurant avoid alcohol if it’s your first date. Also ensure that you drop her till the most convenient point. This makes her think that you have a sense of belonging and she might stay safe while she is with you. Last but not the least; try to avoid talking about sex while flirting or on your first date. This will highlight that you are too impatient and have only one thing on mind.